Relationships

Mid May, 2011

 I think I just slept with the most exotic women yet. There was something about her that was just cute as shit. She is a tiny, frail thing, who looks like she is almost in high school. Her features were fairly plain, there was nothing about her that was paticularly sexy. If anything, I feel that it was her likeness to a girl from college that attracted. This kind of goes against her exoticism, and to be honest, I don't know if anyone has described Mongolians as "exotic", but damn did she look like JP from college.

I'm currently not looking for a relationship, but I do feel they have merit. Right now I'm in a phase, but I feel that I want someone to open up to and grow with.

I mention this because, somehow, the word/concept came up while we were lying in bed. “Relationships are bullshit” she said. Considering the circumstances, I should've nodded my head dumbly in agreement. I didn't though, I said something along the lines like this,

“If a person wants to be with one person and share and grow with them I think that's great”

Talk about awkward, here I was, with a woman I just met a few hours ago and convinced to come home with me, defending relationships. Just as I was asking myself what I was thinking when I said that she gave me a look of befuddlement.

There was a silence in the stare we shared, as if we both new that there was an irony to the situation. In terms of gender, our interaction was supposed to go different.

Overall, it really made me think about the purpose of these flings, considering ym desire for something more. If I really care about relationships, I really should act like it.