Back Like I Left Something

I've been able to step up my Chinese, opening more doors to my lifestyle here. Its also opened a lot more legs. We're not having any deep conversations at all, and there often awkwards moments of silence. But its something.

Everything is based purely on physical attraction and utility. We want to fuck each other, and we can learn a language together. I assume there is some status attained in having a foreigner boyfriend, just like anywhere else in the world. I certainly also gain somethig as well.

There really is no connection, I know language is simply a tool, but my poor Chinese skills keep me from ever really getting to know a woman. I want more than just a good vibe. I want to know what one believes, what she has been through, what she aspires to be, where she sees herself in the world.

At my age, I figure I should try to see whats out there. But I want more, and I know I could be a great man for the right woman. I guess it makes sense that I'm here now. I can sleep with whoever, they all look the same, they don't understand me, they dont KNOW me. As I exorcise my sexual appetite, Her path is kept from crossing mine.

As I begin to value my spiritual being more than the desires of my physical shell, the time will be right.

Or I'm just full of shit and I'm justifying my inability to attain a true connection with someone as part of some absurd divine plan for me to find my love.

The gods must be laughing.

New Show Idea

The show is called The Substitute, and it is inspired by my own experiences as a substitute teacher. The main character is basically based on how I envision my life were to go if I were to quit chasing my dreams and become complacent with my life of debauchery.

Gabriel is a 25 year old college graduate who has yet to get past his weed phase and lacks motivation. Though talented, smart, intelligent, and charismatic, Gabriel's habits and general synicism have kept him from maximizing his potential. On his third year as a substitute, Gabriel is dumped by his fiancee of three years and girlfriend of five. He works with his parents, who reluctantly get him a job at their school district. Gabriel lives with two friends, who are college dropouts who make more money than he does.

Gabriel frequently encounters friends from high school and college, who remind him of all of his involvements and achievement in school. When they find out what he does now, all of gabriel's friends are pleasantly surprised at how humble his situation is.

Gabriel's break-up leaves him even more empty and pushes him to more smoking, drinking, and cynicism. It is not until he sees his girl with a new boyfriend where he wakes up..

One Night in Hong Kong

I often complain to myself abot living a rather pedestrian life. Then, I'll look back at events that occured maybe a month previously and wonder why I never wrote about it when it happened.

August 27 2011

I had a lunchtime trans-pacific flight the next day, meaning I had to get up early the next morning. I had to make a decision: go to bed early and get up early, well-rested for an entire day of travel, or, party all night in Hong Kong, stumble drunkenly onto the plane, and pass out for my 12.5 hour flight. Being a Hong Kong addict, I went with the latter.

I was meeting a friend at a club in the Lan Kwai Fong area, but was having serious difficulty finding this club. I wandered around, refusing to ask for directions, as it is a bitch move. As I got more and more lost, it became apparent to anyone watching me that I was, in fact, lost.

I walked past a park, and saw an Indian man sitting on bench, looking about as shady as a lonely minority sitting in an empty park near the bar district of metropolitan city can look. Nonetheless, our eyes met. As I approached him to ask where this bar was, there was a certain acknoledgement in our eye contact that indicated to both of us that we had one thing in common: an appreciation for recreational drugs.

"What are you looking for?"
"Well, a bar, but how much for _______?"

After a few seconds, it was apparent that there would be no transaction. I wasn't surprised, I was broke and prices in Hong Kong are ridiculous. What I didn't expect was for him to offer to smoke me out and show me to the bar.

As a walked down an empty, roach infested alley, I started to what wonder if my better judgement was being applied here. There are some lesson I've been taught all my life that were flashing through my mind. Don't talk to strangers. Don't do drugs. Don't walk down dark alleyways. Don't walk down dark alleyways with strangers to do drugs

I overreacted, as we proceeded to get into much better moods. Apparently hustlin' on the park bench had left my friend Baba stressed, and in need of a brown friend to smoke a joint with. Once we were done, we went back into the crowd, looking for a club where my friend had been waiting for about hour. I asked the bouncer of one of the many bars there for directions, and when I turn around to find Baba, he's gone.

The word in my head at the moment was gratitude.
Thank you God for giving me the chance to party in the amazing city that is Hong Kong
Thank you for letting me be Andre, and not an immigrant drug dealer
Thank you for sending me weed bearing angels as I have needed them throughout my travels.

People

It's so easy to meet people abroad. Locals may befriend a foreigner for a number of reasons. Many locals are learning English and are eager to make non-Chinese friends. Many women seek a foreigner boyfriend, which has become fairly fashionable from what I've seen. If one can speak Chinese, it makes it even easier. The Chinese value their relationships as well, and they are strengthened over lavish dinners and night out at KTV. Having a local to be your friend and hangout with is pretty easy in China...

Befriending other ex pats is even easier. You walk into a bar, see another foreigner, and there's this moment of "huh". An instantaneous comradery forms simply because you are both in a strange environment. Where people are from, what they are doing there, etc., these are things you are actually interested while meeting fellow ex pats.

The sensation of socializing makes these people interesting to you. I feel that in America people are only genuinely interested in you if you provide utility to them. Sex, an image, money, maybe drugs; you are interested in people if they can bring these things to the table. Socialization for socialization's sake is rare.

Whereas before I just wanted to talk to anybody that could understand me, now all we seek is those who understand us and that we can use. I'd almost prefer it if all my friends would go with me to china so we can hang out there.

I'm Baaack

So, I decided to come home for the time being. It's gonna take a while for boats filled with bottles to arrive to Asia from Canada, so I really have nothing to do until then. Well, thats kind of a lie. I could've kept teaching English, studying Chinese, expanding my network, but I was homesick like a muh fugga.

My mom offered to pay for my ticket back to China for me to come home for Christmas. Considering the timing of the business, it just was not reasonable in a business sense to come home in December. Considering I had nothing to do in China, as I previously mentioned, I felt if I was going to come home, now is the best time.

I had fantasized often about what would happen when I got home. Let's see how long the illusion lasts as I am now a foreigner in my own home.

Meeting Post Thoughts

I think at this point we're not popular enough to compete effectively to a point. We're aren't big enough to where distributors and retailers will be interested in buying several thousand bottles and having exclusivity in the Chinese market. Obviously we'd love someone to buy a ton a bottles, and that way we'd be done with it, but it seems that the market for ice wine is still in its infancy. Affluent Chinese are still uneducated about wine, especially dessert wine. Retailers recognize there is potential but they are unwilling to take the risk. Additionally, I'm a little concerned about our price. We are looking to sell a bottle of our ice wine or 500 RMB for a bottle of 200ml. We are confident that it will sell, especially if we have a partner who has a demand for their ice wine already. But, we need to revamp our strategy.

Quality assurance, security, and the prospect of having a thriving and lasting business relationship is what is ideal for St. Laurent. This is why we would prefer to deal with a single partner in China who shares our vision. But, due to reasons mentioned previously it seems expecting someone to invest heavily is a tad unreasonable. Therefore, we need to make several sales to push smaller shipments into China. It will require a little more research on our behalf, but I feel it may be even more beneficial for us.

The big fish is out there, but we need the right bait. Thus, we need to penetrate the market asap and build the culture of drinking icewine from the ground up. I feel that if we get numerous orders of of 250, 500, and 1,000 bottles, we can make more money in the long run. Additionally, we'll learn much about the business and market, so when we do find that big fish, we'll be ready and not get taken advantage of.

The marketing is everything, but if we can get solid investments, we'll be able to promote our product with greater facility. We need a price list, and we need people to try the wine ASAP. Meetings, pitches, we need to get serious.

Apartments in China

I've been living out of hotels in the last few weeks, I guess its the life of a salesman/hustler like myself. Due to the expenses, I decided to start looking for an apartment in the metropolis of Shenzhen, due to its convenience (an hour from Guangzhou, it borders HK, but its cheaper than HK, etc.). I realized yesterday that the first tier cities of China are not only much more expensive than the second tier cities (like Dalian, where I lived for a year), but their costs are similar to that of Western cities. I saw a few serviced apartments, which were definitely out of my price range. I was willing to make the move, but realized that Shenzhen is such a massive city, that it really isn't so convenient to move around.

Nonetheless, I thought I had found my apartment. It was affordable, in a great location with a local Chinese market, and near Western-style bars. When I visted there were a few things I was concerned about. First, was that there was a lack of AC in the living room. Considering its a fucking sauna in Shenzhen, I was worried. But, there was AC in the room, as well as wireless internet, which is rarer than most westerners would believe. Just as I was about to sign on the dotted line, I saw the bathroom.

Me: Where's the toilet? (looks at Chinese/old world toilet)...Oh

Landlady: You are in china, but you'll get used to it

Me: Hmm, and what are all these buckets with water for, does it flush?

Landlady: That's how you clean it

Needless to say, I'm still in a hotel in Zhangmutou, a small city outside Shenzhen. Believe it or not, it's actually more convenient (and cheaper) to stay here when doing business in the Guangdong area. Besides, I'm hustling way too hard to shit in a hole.